• Things Do Not Change–We Change

    We can analyse our problems for years – but nothing changes until we change the sensations we link to an experience in our nervous system – the power of your brain. Reframing your mindsets is the key to breaking patterns.

    Things do not change – we change.  And if we want change, then we have to do things different.

    We need to adopt the belief that we can change in a moment – after all, if you can create a problem in a moment, you should be able to create a solution too – right? You and I both know that when people finally do change, they do it in a moment, don’t they? There’s an instant when the change occurs. Why not make that instant NOW? Usually, it’s the getting ready to change that takes people time.

    One of my favourite mantras is: “Too much analysis leads to paralysis!”

    We can analyse our problems for years – but nothing changes until we change the sensations we link to an experience in our nervous system – the power of your brain. Reframing your mind-sets is the key to breaking patterns.

    People who feel stuck or blocked are locked into points of view. We tend to act in this way through habit and an inability to welcome alternative ideas. In this situation we allow the past to create our present. Everything is subject to reconstruction and renewal. The “re” factor is the basis of resurrecting, reshaping, regenerating, reviving and rejuvenating.

    Creative persons live in a state of constant search and exploration. The creative way of looking at the world assumes multiple truths and interactions among them. As Walt Whitman expressed it, the individual person contains multitudes. And so, the most fundamental skill of the creative person is the ability to constantly re-vision the world. The patterns of the constructed self CAN be broken, transcended to reach new heights.

    In fact, there are 3 specific beliefs about responsibility that a person must have if they are going to create long-term change. You want to know them? Here they are.

    1. First, we must believe, SOMETHING MUST CHANGE – not that it should change, or that it could or ought to change, but that it absolutely MUST. It’s only when something becomes a “must” that we begin the process of truly doing what’s necessary to shift the quality of our lives.

    2. We must not only believe that things must change, BUT WE MUST BELIEVE, “I MUST CHANGE IT”. We must see ourselves as the source of the change. Otherwise, we’ll always be looking for someone else to make the changes for us, and we’ll always have someone else to blame when it doesn’t work out. We must be the source of our change if our change is going to last.

    3. Third, we have to believe, “I CAN CHANGE IT” – without believing that it’s possible to change, we stand no chance of carrying through on our desires.

    Humanity is a kingdom of Nature which, according to the Ageless Wisdom Teachings, suffers more conflict than any other kingdom. Life on Earth is a process of constant conflict, pulls and counterpulls. What we see as a problem, that which is not agreeable to us, becomes the obstacle. We have to include all those elements to complete the experience of Oneness. And when the personal viewpoint no longer exists, when we perceive the so-called “good” and “bad” as two aspects of the One Background, then we are living in a greater Reality.

    It is a training in achieving HARMONY THRU CONFLICT. The nature of life is to contain both chaos and order. But it is this uncertainty that you feel inside yourself that becomes the Doorway to Wisdom.
    One of the world’s most universal spiritual exercises involves establishing empathy and respect for adversaries and annoyances.

    Opening the heart to the disturbing situation enables us to invert its energy. So when we use our disturbances as materials of expression, we see that everything in life is fuel for the creative process. Creativity puts toxins to good use. This will show us that Humanity’s job on planet Earth is to bring Love into the world of Duality. And the Christ-mass Festival is a reminder each year to rise above our personal likes & dislikes and give out the Light & Love to each other and step into that sense of ONENESS which is WHOLENESS.

    By Derek Seagrief

    By Derek Seagrief is an internationally recognised astrologer, teacher, lecturer, author, and astro-therapist, grounded in PsychoSynthesis. Born in London, August 1952 and living in Denmark from 1978. For more than 24 years Derek has travelled throughout Scandinavia and England offering a wide variety of workshops and personal consultations. Originally started his career as artist and sculptor with exhibitions in both London and New York. Started to teach himself both Tarot and Astrology at the age of 17. From the time of arrival in Denmark he has been working full time in the field of intuitive astrology, combining psychology, Psychosynthesis and psychotherapy together in a living and meaningful wholeness. Derek has a rich experience with the many branches of astrology and this led to the creation of a unique 2-Year education The Unicorn School of Astro-Psychology. The School was among the first to offer students a professional training in counselling, combining Astrology and modern psychology through the inspiration of PsychoSynthesis. Among its teachers was Tad Mann and LiseLotte Mann. Derek established the School for Living Kabbalah in 1999. Derek has been a regular contributor to many magazines, both Scandinavian and international throughout the years, and been a key speaker at international astrology Conferences. Author of 9 privately published books. www.seagrief.com. Derek has also been a guest lecturer at The Hercules School of Astrology.

    Photo by prottoy hassan on Unsplash.

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  • Happiness Advice from an Expert: How to Find Happiness When You’re Stuck in a Rut

    The most profitable business in the world is the one that spends the least money to make the most money, and the most joyful person in the world is the one who spends the least effort to get the most joy! Instead of trying to do a whole lot, simply commit to doing what you can every day, no matter what. It’s consistency, not intensity, that makes the most difference over time. In other words, prioritize consistency over intensity.

    Hi Rob-

    Please help!

    I can’t seem to get out of the rut I’m in. It feels so unrealistic to have happy thoughts on a regular basis, but that’s what I want most!

    For starters, my life isn’t where I want it to be; I’m not as successful as I thought I’d be. My living situation sucks, I don’t have a job I like, and my relationships are terrible.

    What’s worse, I know I won’t be happy, even if all these things fall into place. I get that, but I still want these other things.

    Finally, I feel like I’ve been working at this happiness thing forever. It’s so hard to keep my mind in a state of acceptance and appreciation, let alone happiness and contentment.

    For example, I’ve kept a gratitude journal for over 3 years, but I’ve dreaded it most of the time! I’ve noticed that it doesn’t work if I don’t work it, but it’s tough.

    I’ve read so many books, tried lots of things, and seen tons of therapists, but nothing seems to work! Becoming happy just feels impossible!

    Can you please help?

    Desperately,
    Debbie Downer

    ***

    Dear Debbie-

    First, thank you for that very honest, heartfelt message.

    I’ve been there, trust me. It can be so frustrating, infuriating even. But I got through it, and you will, too!

    To that end, please find below a few quick tips, tricks, tools, and techniques that I’ve found helpful over the years.

    I hope that you find them helpful, too.

    1. But first, happiness!

    In short, prioritize happiness above everything else.

    If you can get happy without all the stuff you want, you tend to get all the stuff you want.

    And you get it faster and easier than you would or could if you were coming from a needy, desperate, unhappy, unhealthy vibrational place.

    So put happiness first, and then trust that happiness will lead to everything else you want, too.

    In the Bible it says, “Seek the kingdom of heaven (inside), and the rest will be added.”

    Another way of saying that is, “Seek happiness inside, and everything else will follow.”

    That’s what I’m saying.

    If you take care of happiness, happiness will take care of success; if you take care of happiness, happiness will take care of you!

    Said in another way, happiness is not only the greatest success; happiness leads to success, too!

    Science agrees.

    Happy people experience more success in all areas of their lives. They make more money, live longer, are healthier, are rated as more attractive, get married sooner, stay married longer, and are happier in all of their relationships, whether they are married or not.

    Further, happy people are also kinder, more charitable, and more generous than their unhappy peers.

    Happiness is not only the cheat code or master key to success, then.

    It is also your gift to your success… and the world!

    2. Do less, better.

    You don’t need to know a whole lot to be happy. You likely know enough already. In fact, you probably know too much!

    Similarly, you don’t need to do a whole lot more to be happy, either. You probably do enough already. In fact, you probably do too much!

    In other words, you need to do less, better.

    You need to focus on quality, not quantity. You need to focus on baby steps. The smaller the steps, the better.

    Less is more!

    So, you don’t need to learn more. You just need to apply what you already know! Knowing is doing; knowing and not doing is not knowing. An ounce of doing is worth a pound of theorizing.

    Instead of learning more or even doing more, try choosing the one or two things that you can easily commit to doing every single day, no matter what.

    What happiness activity is currently getting you the greatest results with the least amount of time, energy, effort, and money or resources?

    Stick to that.

    Who are your favorite teachers or authors?

    Stick to them.

    If certain videos or books really help, listen or read them over and over again.

    This is called this “lazy intelligence.”

    The most profitable business in the world is the one that spends the least money to make the most money, and the most joyful person in the world is the one who spends the least effort to get the most joy!

    Instead of trying to do a whole lot, simply commit to doing what you can every day, no matter what.

    It’s consistency, not intensity, that makes the most difference over time.

    In other words, prioritize consistency over intensity.

    Tony Robbins is right, “We overestimate what we can accomplish in a year, but we underestimate what we can accomplish in ten.”

    Bruce Lee is also right, “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but the one who has practiced one kick, 10,000 times.”

    Choose your kick.

    Then, practice it. Every day.

    3. Have more fun!

    Most people think that I’m very disciplined, but I don’t see it that way.

    Yes, I get up at 4am every day, meditate, read, and workout for a few hours. Then, I come back and see clients for 12-14 hours.

    Some people might call that discipline, but I call it “blissipline.” By blissipline, I mean that I’ve made a commitment to fun. If it isn’t fun or I can make it fun, I try not to do it at all!

    So, that’s my encouragement to you, too.

    Happiness should be something you do for the fun of it – for the joy of it, for its own sake – not just to get a result.

    If you try to get a result, you won’t get the result. If you try to get good at it, you’ll never get good at it… or enjoy it.

    However, if you try to enjoy it – really enjoy it, instead – you’ll get good at it really fast.

    And you’ll enjoy it, too.

    4. Have faith.

    You’re on the right path- just persist.

    And the way you persist to keep it playful, keep it fun.

    And when you don’t feel like persisting, take a nap!

    You’ve got momentum behind you, and there’s no stopping that or you now.

    You might not see a whole lot of progress, but it’s happening beneath the surface.

    The check is in the mail a long time before you see it show up in your mailbox, so to speak.

    Trust this.

    Have a little more faith… in faith.

    5. Delegate it.

    One of the keys that I discovered along my journey from clinically depressed and suicidal to happy has been this:

    Let other people do the work! Ha ha.

    In other words, the challenge – and opportunity – for most of us is that left to our own devices (thinking), we resort to negativity.

    We don’t reverse decades of negative thinking or unhealthy habits overnight. It takes some time and energy.

    However, we don’t always have the time, energy, or interest to do that work. I get it! We all get it!

    And that’s ok.

    When possible, then, we can outsource or delegate this happiness thing! We can let other people or resources do the work – do our thinking – for us!

    Seminars, workshops, online talks, videos, audiobooks, and books are my favorite go-to tools to this end.

    In short, start consuming positive content all day, even if that means just letting a video out audio play in the background while you go about your day.

    Occasionally, it’s nice and very helpful to let somebody else do the thinking for you.

    6. Start right.

    If you have to, get up a little earlier than usual just to set the tone for the day.

    Don’t start with technology, unless it’s watching or listening to something positive, uplifting, or inspiring.

    Exercise or a little movement or stretching is transformative in this way.

    It’s the equivalent of taking an antidepressant. It has that powerful of an effect on your mood, minus the side effects.

    7. Sleep.

    Sometimes it’s helpful to play something peaceful or positive when falling asleep at night.

    When you’re falling asleep, your brain is most suggestible. It’s in what’s called the “Alpha-Theta” brain wave state.

    That’s why it’s good to meditate or listen to positive content when you’re sleepy. It’s that relaxed state that lets it all in!

    8. Stick to lifters.

    Stick to lifters, not downers.

    If there are certain people who bring you down, limit your interactions with them.

    Or, better yet, eliminate those people from your life entirely.

    9. If you can’t be positive, be quiet.

    Sometimes being quiet is infinitely better – and easier – than being positive.

    The key is to pay more attention to your physical senses as you do what you do, instead of paying so much attention to the story in your head.

    This is what “micro-meditations” are for.

    A micro-mediation is just one, single breath that you take for the joy of it alone. You take – and deeply enjoy – that one breath while you continue doing whatever you’re doing.

    And you try to enjoy that breath like it’s the last one you’ll ever take on earth again.

    Who knows – it could be!

    While you take that one breath, take it through the nose and from the stomach or diaphragm.

    And, most importantly, as you take it, let all of your thoughts go. Don’t try to fight or change any of your thoughts at all. Just ignore them all.

    Practice those micro-meditations as often as you can throughout the day, no matter what else you happen to be doing, and do it for the joy of it alone.

    Remember, happiness is not only present; happiness is Presence itself. It’s being here and now. Really, it’s just Being, full-stop.

    So, as you practice this micro-meditation – or do anything else for that matter – don’t focus on the past or future. Focus on the present.

    If you take care of the present, the present will take care of the future. If you take care of the present, the future will take care of itself.

    10. Get help!

    Reach out to a therapist, coach, or other helping professional if you want or need more help.

    If I can help, just let me know! You know there you find me…

    Happily,
    Robert

    By Rob Mack

    Robert is a happiness coach & author. He writes and speaks to people about how to live happier lives from the inside, out. Robert’s work has been endorsed by Oprah and Vanessa Williams, among many others. In addition to serving as a Celebrity Love Coach for the television show, Famously Single, on E!, Robert has been a featured guest expert for shows like The Today Show, Good Morning America, Entertainment Tonight, CBS Early Show, The Balancing Act, and AskHer.com and magazines like Self, Health, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, and Upscale. Robert has also served as a National Media Spokesperson, Management Consultant, and Executive Coach for companies like Capital One, FitBit, Buffalo Wild Wings, Microsoft, Carnival Cruise Lines, Deloitte Consulting, McCormick & Spice, IFF, Plus Consulting, and Falcon Credit Management. Robert was born in Pennsylvania. He was educated at Swarthmore College, where he received his Bachelors of Science in Psychology, and the University of Pennsylvania, where he received his Masters in Applied Positive Psychology (M.A.P.P.), an ivy-league degree held by only a few dozen people in the world. Robert lives in Los Angeles.

    Photo by Jacqueline Munguía on Unsplash

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  • COURAGE versus FEAR

    Love transforms fear, and the way to that is the practice of courage. So in order not to lose anything, we have to give and share. When we do that, we are moving from one polarity to the other polarity i.e. from fear (energy of separation) to Love (energy of Unity).

    When you are fearful of something outside yourself, it is only a sign, a symbol of something you are afraid of within yourself – it is a belief.

    Anger is a result of fear.

    Impatience is the result of fear.

    Fears we have do not allow us to trust.

    LIFE is teaching us to TRUST.

    We need to learn to trust that within ourselves. When we fear, we do not trust. When we give up our fears and separateness, our manipulations and hidden agendas, we surrender to life. When we let-go, we have everything, and that takes trust – we are surrendering to the soul.

    So what is fearlessness? Being without fear? Is that what it means?

    It means acting as if fear does not exist.

    And what enables us to do this?

    COURAGE – Acting in spite of fear, recognising a need, and responding to the requirement.

    To live more courageously, we forget about our fears. The attitude and action of forgiveness, which is the ability to let-go, accompanies courage. The word “courage” comes from the Latin root “heart” i.e. action of the heart. So courage is the acting from the heart, and the heart is the center of Love and Will.

    Fear is acting from the lower part of our body, the Solar Plexus chakra and the centers below. The heart is located in the upper region of the body and courage therefore implies a maturity.

    Choosing something greater, something more real, is an act of Will. We let go of the lesser reality.

    Will, Wisdom, and Love are the components of courage.

    Am I willing to risk and take the consequences? Will involves choice and decision-making. Courage always involves sacrifice, as we respond to the need. Sacrifice, properly understood, is a form of dying, as we choose the greater and let-go of the lesser.
    Acting courageously allows us to get outside of ourselves.

    All fear is based on a sense of lack or sense of loss. And all fears are related to instinct, a basic, primitive urge within our bodies. Every instinct gives rise to fear, so by satisfying our desire we seek to overcome fear and therefore come closer to what we believe is the acquisition of happiness.

    A simple example is the desire to eat. What is the fear behind this? Well, if we don’t eat, we die, so it is a fear of death. Another example. Sex is a basic instinct. What fear is associated with sex? You might say doubt about being attractive, or potent, but no, the deep underlying fear here is the fear of separation and thus the desire for unity.

    What’s the fear arising out of aggressiveness? Weakness? Possibly, but no, the core issue is the fear of failure. We assert the little self, spelt with a small “s”, or we could demonstrate Self-assertiveness with a capital “S”.

    The ego-personality is the principle of separation, whereas the soul is the principle of unity. So we recognize two directions. We hold onto the personality profile, and the other direction is to let go.

    Love transforms fear, and the way to that is the practice of courage. So in order not to lose anything, we have to give and share. When we do that, we are moving from one polarity to the other polarity i.e. from fear (energy of separation) to Love (energy of Unity).

    If there is an issue it is because we have denied one side of ourself. When you have a fear – identify the opposite. For example, if you focus on health, the chances are you will become ill. Learn to perceive them together, not as negative & positive, but whole. It is because what we reject or deny becomes negative that the answer lies in arriving at a synthesis – the total acceptance of both.

    We have to go through the negative to reach the positive. This will break your self-image, your perception of yourself, but it’s ultimately healthy! And it is the heart that provides us with open communication, the power to attune with both polarities.

    To get rid of a fear is not to eliminate things but to include and therefore transcend – to increase our love. We must give thanks to these fears because they are leading us to true unity within ourselves.

    Fear actually pushes us to master these illusions. This is because fear exists when we deny one side of the reality. Fear does not exist when you accept both sides.

    Our fear of death is essentially a fear of Enlightenment! The ego’s last defense is a Fear of God, disguised as the fear of death. Our greatest fear, even more than our fear of death, is to awaken to our Christ Spirit within, to awaken to our real invulnerability & power.
    To finish this section, here are two Affirmations to help you deal with the underlying causes of all Fear. Both will lead to an awareness of I AM.

    To deal with the Fear of Loss: AFFIRMATION: “I HAVE NOTHING – SO I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE!”

    To deal with the Fear of Lack: AFFIRMATION: “I HAVE EVERYTHING – THEREFORE I LACK NOTHING!”

    By Derek Seagrief

    By Derek Seagrief is an internationally recognised astrologer, teacher, lecturer, author, and astro-therapist, grounded in PsychoSynthesis. Born in London, August 1952 and living in Denmark from 1978. For more than 24 years Derek has travelled throughout Scandinavia and England offering a wide variety of workshops and personal consultations. Originally started his career as artist and sculptor with exhibitions in both London and New York. Started to teach himself both Tarot and Astrology at the age of 17. From the time of arrival in Denmark he has been working full time in the field of intuitive astrology, combining psychology, Psychosynthesis and psychotherapy together in a living and meaningful wholeness. Derek has a rich experience with the many branches of astrology and this led to the creation of a unique 2-Year education The Unicorn School of Astro-Psychology. The School was among the first to offer students a professional training in counselling, combining Astrology and modern psychology through the inspiration of PsychoSynthesis. Among its teachers was Tad Mann and LiseLotte Mann. Derek established the School for Living Kabbalah in 1999. Derek has been a regular contributor to many magazines, both Scandinavian and international throughout the years, and been a key speaker at international astrology Conferences. Author of 9 privately published books. www.seagrief.com. Derek has also been a guest lecturer at The Hercules School of Astrology.

    Photo by Armand Khoury on Unsplash

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