New Year, Same Me: Cheers to Radical Authenticity

I am excited about the idea of existing in 2020. Mostly because as a kid, I used to imagine that cars would fly, that civilians would planet hop on a regular basis, and that telepathy would be our primary mode of communication.

Those dreams are still in the pending folder for now, but there were lots of unexpected success that I never anticipated enriching my life in so many ways. I never imagined books that read themselves aloud to circumvent my dyslexia, a device in my pocket that allows me to video call my loved ones when we’re far apart and gives me access to the most recent information on any given topic. And this progress isn’t limited to technology; we’re making progress in destigmatizing mental health, our language is moving towards inclusivity, meditation is now commonplace and we work to share ideas. Our collective ideas for progress drive technology and solutions; not everything is perfect, but society as a whole is improving in ways that keep me hopeful.

Early in my life, back when I could only daydream about what 2020 would bring, I was introduced to yoga and meditation, which helped me navigate my way into community, hope and, in so many ways, into myself. I spent many, many hours practicing on towels, in church basements, and to cassette tapes before I was lucky enough to win a partial scholarship for a yoga teacher training. Though I had done plenty of research on my own, it was in my teacher training in 2013 that I began working to fully embody the eight limbs of Yoga. Some of the practices came to me without much effort. Others remain a daily, effortful practice, full of reminders and lessons. For me, New Year’s is a season where my focus returns to my greatest efforts: Aprigaha (non-attachment), Santosha (contentment) and Ishwara Pranidhana (surrender to divinity). I find so much depth and beauty in these simple concepts that unfolds on a regular basis.

And I’ll be honest; I keep myself rather insulated in a lot of ways. I’m not very present on social media, I don’t watch much television, and I don’t even listen to the radio often. My life is quite curated; from the music and news I find to the community I interact with, I do my best to respect and protect my time and energy. And I know that I’m lucky to be a bit insulated. My social circle is full of people well versed on body acceptance, on gratitude practices and on the beauty of humor. I have the great honor of supporting one another with love and sincerity when body frustrations arise, when devastating heartbreak strikes, and when life feels generally unsettling.

But in the quiet, unscheduled time of the holidays, visiting friends and family, I found myself inundated with discussions and commercials asking about New Year’s resolutions or suggesting what 2020 should include. So my focus on the Yamas (restraints) and Niyamas (observances) of Yoga feels highlighted for me at this time of year, when discussion of resolutions is abound.

Certainly, the idea of resolutions is not foreign to me. I was raised in peak diet culture, had required assignments in elementary school of identifying resolutions and worked plenty of places that supported annual “weight loss challenges”. Personal growth and development is one of my core values and learning is one of my favorite spaces to invest time. But. I don’t set resolutions. I am proud of all that I have accomplished, and yet, I know that none of it defines me. My aims of personal growth and development are not to create a new version of myself. Instead, I would rather inspire the best version of my authentic self by dissolving all they ways I’ve come to believe it wasn’t exactly right, while simultaneously working to surrender to the perfection of now.

My yoga and mindfulness practices have brought me stillness, love and appreciation where there was hurt and resentment, grief and sadness, joy and chaos. Not always readily either. I have meditated through tears plenty of days and only felt able to muster gratitude for showing up to my practice. And still, over time, I release, I grow, I accept. It’s a practice. I love and am captivated by technologies that support meditation and personal growth. But I realize there are no shortcuts. So I show up in my practices daily in my work to uncover the most authentic version of myself, working towards my highest purpose, for the good of all.

Progress is not lost on me. I am proud because I know that behind every success, there were quite sacrifices, heavy lessons, healing and blossoming that had to transpire every step of the way. I am proud that I have built a community, a network of support established upon authenticity, care and concern. I am proud to be called upon to hold space for others in their most vulnerable times because I have built shared trust and respect within my circle. And in my best effort to practice non-attachment, I try not to cling to the outcome, I hold on to contentment for the way things are without them needing to remain any particular way.

We don’t need permission, but sometimes we need a reminder. You are ok just as you are today. The version of yourself right now deserves the highest reverence and love. You are not defined by what you have accomplished and there are no goals that are a requirement for appreciating yourself today.

By Celisa Flores

Celisa Flores: Since obtaining a Master’s degree in Counseling in 2007 at CSU Fresno and a PsyD in Clinical Psychology from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology in 2013, Dr. Flores worked as a therapist and program director in a wide variety of mental health treatment setting. This diversity of experience allowed research and training to expand her skills as a Feminist therapist with emphasis on Eating Disorders, Mindfulness and women’s issues. With a history of providing individual, group, family, and couples counseling services, as well as therapeutic yoga services, Dr. Flores has focused on evidence-based practices, providing guidance and support in Mindfulness in Recovery, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), and other self-empowerment strategies. In addition to training as a therapist, she is a Certified Yoga Teacher, also trained in Mindful Stress Reduction, Reiki and as a doula. By integrating a variety of holistic tools into recovery and wellness, she works to create a long-lasting, sustainable wellness plan. Now proudly with Center for Discovery, providing clinical outreach for Orange County and the Central California region. This role has included national and international training and speaking engagements on eating disorders, mindfulness, yoga, body acceptance, and professional wellness, as well as facilitating accessible, body-affirming yoga annually at the Los Angeles NEDA walk. With a passion to support other therapists and community members with understanding eating disorders and treatment as well as self-care and overall wellness, she is always working to share information, research and training.

NOTE: This post is part of a collaborative media series organized and curated by Omstars and the Yoga & Body Image Coalition intended as a deep dive into yoga & body image.