“When we plant a rose seed in the Earth, we notice it is small, but we do not criticize it as rootless and stemless. We treat it as a seed, giving it the water and nourishment required of a seed. When it first shoots up out of the Earth we don’t condemn it as immature and underdeveloped, nor do we criticize the buds for not being open when they appear. We stand at wonder at the process taking place and give the plant the care it needs at each stage of its development. The rose is a rose from the time it is a seed to the time it dies. Within it, at all times it contains its whole potential. It seems to be constantly in the process of change yet at each stage, at each moment it is whole as it is.” – W. Timothy Gallwey
What does it mean to be mentally healthy? We know that it’s good to care for our physical health, but we hardly take notice to care for our mental well-being. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I began to see how I wasn’t an exception either. Anger, shame, and doubt overwhelmed me with anxiety and panic attacks affected my day to day life. Tired of the drain, I began to ask why I felt like this as the stories forgotten began to unravel.
In a time where computer and smartphones virtually connect us something is missing. This aspect of our modern society is the silence of a seemingly total connection. What I’m talking about here is loneliness. Loneliness is at an all-time high amongst post-millennials. It’s such a problem that in England, there’s even an appointed Minister of Loneliness. The real connection is something that is missing. We’re relational beings, we need to be understood, and we can’t do that for ourselves. Contact is a necessity for a human being to heal so we need to be with other people.
Social media is one of the primary ways people of our generation are connecting. Know that you have the freedom to choose your life. One should enjoy what they create, share, or post despite it getting out to the public. What if you posted something and no one took note of it, or no one watched it? Yes, it would suck, but the question is how much? Could you step back and say, “That was a great post even though the world doesn’t get it.” There may be some sadness, and that is normal. What’s not is letting your happiness depend on it. The need for validation is like a reflex we have to learn to undo.
All self-worth issues stem from one thought, “I am not enough.” I am not enough without the things that I do to justify my existence here on this planet. I am not enough is the reason that most people who are alive today are running this endless rat race for achievement, trying to become more than they already are. Even people who in the field of spiritual endeavors, yoga, etc., has a motive for why they do it and may find themselves for chasing enlightenment. The pursuit of self-actualization stems from the belief that we aren’t enough as we are. You can’t look to anyone else to create it for you; it’s something you develop. Some of us may have been luckier than others; many may have had parents that reflected true self-worth to us, but it’s always an individual process.
So how can we go about discovering our self-worth which will move us into self-esteem and the vibration of self-love?
Ask yourself, “How am I enough?” So often we focus on what we aren’t instead of what we are. If you focus on the lack you get nothing more than lack, so you have to take your attention off of your deficiencies. You have to shift into thoughts of appreciation for yourself.
These qualities cannot develop if you’re still devaluing your own life. If you’re filling your life up with alcohol, no sleep, bad diets or contributing physically to feeling bad about yourself and your life, then you can’t step into the vibration of self-love, which is where self-worth resides. See where you may be creating a contradiction to self-esteem and self-love and work to incrementally release those habits and patterns so that your life can become a real reflection of someone who might love themselves or someone that might have value in their own identity.
See what you think about your worth, not what you’ve been taught to believe. All that a belief is a thought that’s been thought over again and again so much so that it takes no effort to think that thought. That thought becomes a neuropathway, and the neuropathway takes charge to bring that thought forth into reality. That is the realm of the subconscious. When you find these limiting beliefs, you have to figure out where they came from. Chase them back to their origin, the circumstance, or an adult in your life when you were a child. You’ve got to be able to leave that belief to whom it belongs too. It’s not your belief; it’s something you adopted. Once you leave it there, you have to replace it with new thoughts. Use your mind and send it on a scavenger hunt for what you’d like to believe better and look for proof of your worth. Create a situation where you tell your brain to look for the aspects it can appreciate, which add to the idea of self-worth and reinforce any belief that you are trying to replace. New neuropathways will begin to form to those new thoughts and pretty soon it will take no effort to think them. By choosing an original idea to feel, a better feeling thought, your overall vibration will change.
Another technique you can use is meditating on core affirming thoughts. Pick something that is relative to you and repeat it as a mantra and you sink into the vibration of the words. Choose something relative to where you are. To go from “I hate myself” to the opposite ” I love myself” would be a personal assault on your intelligence because instead of making you feel good it’s pointing out to you all the places you don’t love yourself. So it’s imperative to choose an affirmation which you do line up with, meaning you do believe.
You might instead think, “I value myself because I care.” That thought may feel good to think and something that all of you resonates. The more you keep choosing better feelings and thoughts, pretty soon down the line you can say, “I love myself,” and mean it. There won’t be any hesitation when you repeat that affirmation.
Water molecules change based on what it’s around and we, being human, are 70+ percent H2O. Good practice for when you’re going to drink or eat something. For example with a glass of water, hold the glass and focus true appreciation to that water. Generate the emotion of love into that water. The longer, the better and yes drink that water! By making this a daily practice, you will be restructuring the water of your own body. Your internal water, which has been poisoned with thoughts of self-depreciation and criticism, diminish your sense of self-worth. This powerful practice as you may notice the considerable discordance of vibration from what you’ve been feeding to your body over years and years. After a few months of this, you may then be ready to take on core affirming thought without feeling guilty about saying them. This practice can be one of the most life changing things that you can interject into your day to day life.
I desire that you talk your way into your own beliefs about worth. I desire that those beliefs are of a benefit to you and never a limit to you.
Now I’m going to share with you about value concerning how the Universe sees it.
Worth is inherent.
You are an extension of Source
You are born with worth and die with worth
All anything in this life is, either an obscurer or an allower of that light which is inherently yours.
Your worth is like a light. Anything you do in your life is nothing but a showcase of that light. If it’s a beneficial thing you are doing or some success which you have achieved, all that is, is like a stained glass, which is allowing that light to express itself in beautiful ways. And anything you’ve done, anybody you’ve hurt in this life, anything you don’t feel proud of is nothing but filament in front of that light. The light is always there. At your core, you are unique, eternal, infinite, precious, valuable and kind person. You are in other words, an endless sea of potential, which is entirely unchanging, you can’t add to it, and you cannot take away from it. You have as much worth and potential today as you did when you were born, and you will have as much worth and potential the day you die as when you were born. Your worth didn’t go anywhere, and you can’t get rid of or lose something that’s eternal. Talent is not worth. It’s not worth in and of itself. An ability is an expression of worth, which is inherent in all beings, no matter how small, no matter how large, no matter how much good or evil that they’ve done in their life. The reality is that worth is eternal. There is no way you can get rid of it. There is no way you can even add to it. You can either showcase it or hide it.
Remember that you are lovely. You would be of infinite worth also if all you did for the rest of your life were to sit in a vegetable state. You do not need to justify your life. You don’t need to defend yourself to yourself or anyone. You are precisely enough as you are, at this very moment, and every moment.
This subject is a relatively emotional one for me, I’m saying as how I’ve struggled with self-worth so much, and I understand what can come from really finding it. When you focus towards yourself and others with an attitude of searching what to appreciate, instead of what to condemn, you will come to know this worth that is inherently yours. You will come to know joy for the first time. And this is my desire for all of you. This is my desire for all people on this Earth.
If you relate to this anyway I invite you to join me and my co-hosts for #ThisismybraveYogis, a FREE, 7-day exciting yoga challenge.
This Is My Brave is a is a mental health non-profit organization. Their mission is to end the stigma of mental health issues. They share personal stories of individuals living successful, full lives despite mental illness. (more info here)
We will explore a variety of topics through postures and open the dialogue to finding our purpose in stressful situations. Be supported in a community with other like-minded individuals. Share it with friends and family, so we can all join together in support of connection, openness, and understanding.
Sign up now and join the challenge today!
By Danielle Hicks