I get a lot of women asking me how I can possibly find time to do my yoga practice, take care of a baby, keep up with the house, and maintain my job and relationships all at the same time. I’ve had women tell me they are hesitant to have a baby because it just seems like too much for one woman’s plate.
Well. It is. It’s a lot. There’s no denying that and I would be a total liar if I said I had everything under control all the time. There are days, sometimes weeks, when the only asana practice I can get in is sun salutations. My sink almost always has a few dishes in it. I definitely don’t teach as many classes as I used to. And sometimes I can’t help but lose my cool, collected nature and get carried away with stress or worry.
But overall, I am happy. I have an amazing family, I get paid to teach yoga and write from home (or anywhere in the world!), I’m physically healthy and emotionally stable. I feel balanced, supported, and nurtured in my everyday life. And I owe much of it to these five principles I’ve implemented to keep myself centered and focused. If I’m off my game, there’s a high likelihood that it’s because I’m neglecting one or more of these very important foundational pillars of a balanced life. They really do work.
And today I’m sharing my personal tools with you, to help you find that same balance and fulfillment in your own life as a mother (or future mother!).
- Set Boundaries. Say no when you need to. You don’t need to do everything all the time. You aren’t supposed to give endlessly to everyone else until you collapse from utter exhaustion. For a very long time, women have been taught to believe they must give 110% of themselves to both their work, household, and children everyday. How draining! I don’t even think it’s actually possible. So we need to honor that we, too, are human beings who need set boundaries on how much energy we can healthily pour out into the world. If there is an area in your life that is pulling away from your ability to thrive and serve simultaneously, honor your feelings and make a shift.
- Lighten your Load and Focus In. Practice minimizing priorities so you can be more fully present. For example, If I’m feeling overwhelmed and frustrated that there isn’t enough time in a day to do all the things I want to do, I pause. I focus on what’s happening in the present moment, and come back to prioritizing the bare minimum: family, health, and wellness. I ask, “What’s most important here? In this particular moment, here and now, what needs my attention most of all?” And then most of the time I realize my mind has wandered off into Stress Land and pulled me in a million directions, away from Right Here, Right Now: the peace and simplicity of the present moment. When I focus back into the present moment, I can relax about all the things that “need to get done” and enjoy myself again (and usually, consequentially, become more productive than before!).
- Set Aside “Me” Time. Treat yourself! This is so important. We need time away from the chaos to recharge. Think pure pleasure. What makes you happiest? Maybe a bath with essential oils and a cup of tea, a yoga class, massage, or dinner date with your girlfriends while someone else watches the kids. Maybe it’s a trip to the mountains or something else entirely. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it refills your cup and makes you happy… like you’re coming back home to yourself.
- Nourish your Body. Make fresh, healthy, complete meals everyday. Eat whole foods. Drink water and mineral rich herbal teas throughout the day. Practice yoga, stretch your body, take walks, get enough sunlight and enough sleep. I know I personally feel happier, healthier, and more capable of tackling the day when I’m consciously filling my physical body with the right nutrients. It’s imperative that my wellness is taken care of in order for me to properly show up to take care of everything else in my life. It means I play with my son more, I write and teach with more clarity, I get way more done around the house, and I’m overall more efficient.
- Ask for Help. You were never meant to do it all alone. Raising children takes a village. I would not be able to do all the things I do if it weren’t for my husband, my mom, and my friends. They are so so helpful and always there when I need a break (my “me” time!) or a few hours of uninterrupted writing time. We’re social animals; we all need to rely on other people sometimes. If you feel like you need more help, get it. Ask your partner, your mother, your best friend, anyone. If you’re lonely, reach out and make play dates. Find a strong community of women to be a part of, and get the support you need. We’re all in this together!
That’s it, ladies! I hope at least one of these tools resonates with you, and I hope you take the time to implement it. By focusing on these five areas, you’ll notice more free time in your day to achieve your goals, more energy in your body, and greater love and gratitude in your heart. You are always welcome to send questions, comments, or concerns my way. I am here to support. <3
For love, with love.
By Emily O’Brien