Creating Illness: Healing through awareness

Healing is an inside job, no one can heal you if you are not holding a true and complete desire to heal yourself.  Those of you familiar with my work have heard me say this over and over again. Healers are amazing conduits for healing to occur, I say that as someone who is trained in both Usui & Karuna Reiki almost 20 years ago. It’s how I started to become aware of the Subtle Energy Body. If you keep reading, I’ll explain how we can receive a healing, think we’re healed only to get sick again.

The fault for the re-occurrence is not with the healer, it’s with the recipient’s lack of awareness to how the energy body works, as well as the lack of understanding as to how our thoughts and emotions (beliefs) play an integral part in how our reality is created which becomes our life experience. Once you understand the relationship between your thoughts, emotions and actions to your energy body you can heal and never get sick again.

The energy of pain and suffering is low and very dense in its vibrational state.  It’s much easier to get momentum going with low vibrational thoughts, it’s like tossing a snowball down-hill, it builds on itself and becomes very difficult to manage or stop. If you create enough of these lower level thoughts and emotions, over time, you can get locked into a cycle of pain and suffering which then becomes a mental / emotional state of being we get locked into called victim-hood mentality which can make it almost impossible to escape.  The lower dense energy of our emotions locks us in to a feeling we run continuously, it becomes a drug and we are addicted to it because it’s the only way we know how to feel.  The more you stay in these lower vibrational states of pain and suffering the easier it becomes to create more.  It’s like being stuck on a hamster wheel, with no escape so you keep creating more.  Higher vibrational thoughts are harder because they are more uncomfortable for us to try to have if we are used to being in a lower state where we feel “nothing ever works out for us or this is just my rotten luck.”

We are only going to barely skim the surface talking about how we create illness but it’s a good start. If you find yourself getting triggered reading this it’s ok, just breathe.  It’ll all make sense as we go. Awareness is the key, we must be aware of what we are creating through our thoughts, words and actions because that’s what’s creating our experience in our reality.  It’s important to remember that nothing is happening “to us” but rather “for us” in order to help us shift.  No one is setting us up to fail, our soul chose all of this to understand what it feels like to move through and transcend darkness into light to heal.

Having created Cancer in my body back in 2000’, I was abruptly catapulted onto my path of self-discovery because my life goal of attaining success at my job was suddenly shifted and now solely about healing my body. I was not going to “get it” with the first cancer event in 2000’, it was going to take a reoccurrence in 2004’ to shake me awake. That’s when everything changed, I changes as I became more aware of what was still needing my attention with regard to change.  When I started to look at how I was living, thinking and feeling my life was suddenly heading in a new direction.  I was on a quest to figure it all out. I was someone who needed to know the “how & why”, which can be a challenge at times but in this case, it was my blessing.  It brought me deeper into awareness of myself and through my process I became a critical thinker.  I remember knowing I could not put anyone else in charge of my healing, it was my job.  I remember knowing this with every fiber of my being and looking back now I see I was not even close to where I am now in awareness but it’s a process and I was off to a good start. Since that second dance with cancer it’s been a never-ending search for the truth in how / why we become sick.

Through my process of self-discovery, I read hundreds of books on all thing’s energy, the body and emotions, I’m well versed in everything Carolyn Myss, Louise Hay, Debbie Ford and the list goes on but in truth there was always something missing. Even after all the work I had done, starting back in 2000’, it still wasn’t clear why we got sick or how we could heal. Why can some people consume nothing but junk food and live to be104 years old and a health fanatic dies at 40, it never made sense. My work has been based on healing the whole and not the illness because to me that’s like applying a band aid when stitches are needed. The same is true with therapy, it keeps you locked in a loop never really resolving the problem which is the generational patterning, programming or Karmic loop cycle playing out because everything is at the soul level. It feels good in the moment, but that deeper resolution never seems to come… only more separation of self as you struggle to make sense of yourself / your life / your past and most importantly what you could’ve done better to prevent it. The nature of the illness is not really about anyone or anything else, it’s about you and your “perception” of you.  Healing is an inside job; it has nothing to do with anything outside of you. If you take a few minutes more and keep reading, I’ll explain what I’m talking about.

My work is based on helping people resolve their emotional trauma in order to assist them in their process of healing.  This past year was filled with crazy “pop up” health anomalies, some easy to resolve and others needing a deeper process. Many people called within several days of each other for help with UTI’s and just as many for kidney / bladder stones and now skin problems (including hair loss). In all my years doing this work, assisting people in finding their place of wellbeing through reversing illness and pain in their body I don’t think I’ve had such an eye-opening moment. The intensity of the energy we’re experiencing is bring a lot of emotional stuff to the surface needing to be healed / released.  Resistance to change is the number one catalyst of physical pain / illness. When we are in resistance to letting go our body responds with pain or/and illness.  The resistance is in our thinking process.  Our thoughts snowball and gain momentum which then creates a desire for our emotions to marry the thoughts.  Thoughts and emotions go hand in hand.  Because they are denser than thoughts it’s almost impossible to have one without the other.  The imbalance has us emotional over what we are “perceiving” in our reality as our truth, which is often times not even close to what is really true but we fail to realize that because the density of our emotions has already locked us onto the hamster wheel and we slowly spiral out of control creating anxiety and fear or anger as the first step in creating illness.

I’ll break this down for you in case you’re not familiar with how illness is created. What all health issues have in common is thoughts, emotions and actions marrying together and being brought into the body through the electromagnetic field through the aura and finally into our physical body. It all starts with our thoughts (electric) and emotions (magnetic) which are our beliefs, followed by our actions.  When emotions are not resolved they imprint in our electromagnetic field. The electromagnetic field locks in these time imprints as memories, these are known as timelines which anchor into our electromagnetic field which causes a build-up of density which is created by our emotions. We imprint that timeline through our emotions, so we have now embedded a memory of how we felt in that moment. We carry it with us and keep referring to the memory / emotion of that particular time(line) and over time the density builds creating a distortion in our energy field.  Eventually it weakens our field which then creates a tear or a hole where our personal energy (chi) leaks out.  This weakens our physical body over time and if nothing is done to correct the situation, we develop an illness.

These emotional imprints or timelines as they are is why it’s so hard to let go of something painful from your past such as relationships.  It doesn’t matter how old / new it is, once we create an emotional imprint it’s with us until we’ve have had enough and release it.  We have a timeline with each person, situation etc. in our life.  Gaia also holds timelines known as the Akashic Records, they are a record of everything our soul has experienced across all timelines, dimensions and parallel realities.  This is the experience we have of being multi-dimensional. Gaia holds all of this information for each human, It’s the collective experience or collective consciousness and we in our physical form have the individual experience.  Every time we think of a situation to which we have an emotional connection / tie, we perceive it through it’s timeline and it will feel fresh, like it just happened as we replay it in our emotional body because of the strength we give it through our thoughts, and actions.

Our emotions are the powerhouse, they magnetize our past to us. We have learned, throughout our life to master the art of creating emotions to go with events in our lives that have brought us joy and sorrow. The emotions connected to sorrow have been trained by us to occur each time we are triggered into recalling that emotional event / situation / relationship from our past.  Emotions and thoughts give power to our beliefs.  This is the key in resolving illness.  We must develop awareness in order to see what we are creating in each moment.  This is how we can develop a present moment state of being.

Every illness / issue in the body is an imprint in the electromagnetic field via these timelines. On a soul level certain illness can be built into what we’re here to experience as a soul in human form.  This is called “Generational Patterning”, cancer is an illness the soul group as a collective might choose to experience. There are many reasons why we create illness, in the case of Generational Patterning it’s to heal the family lineage for the soul group, sort of like ending the pattern or behavior that was never resolved by other family members.  When you heal it the generations after you do not have to deal with it, so they won’t create it.  I healed the cancer in my family by owning my healing process.

Now that we’ve touched on how illness works within timelines, we can understand the other part in the equation of healing our body through how we handle these timelines which are really our “memories” of the experience we’ve had.  Since memories are held onto by our human thinking mind and we see that we are creating the pain and suffering by continually dipping back into our past experiences and pull that memory along with those feelings / emotions front and center, then we start the fueling process giving fire to it through our thoughts. This is why the pain feels fresh & present, we recreate it over and over again and again by not realizing we do not need to relive / rehash it.  When we see this and realize that everything that occurred in our past is merely a “representation” of who we were then at that time we will realize we do not need to review it.  Part of this process revisiting our wounds is our belief that we did something wrong or that something could’ve been done differently when none of that is true.  Everything occurs exactly as it’s meant to in order to create the experience needed to move us forward in order to move out of our state of stuckness.  Crisis is notorious for giving us our wake-up call.

Now we can look at why it’s hard to let go of pain and suffering. Our bodies hold a unique frequency to us. Our frequency is related to our electromagnetic field.  Our field, just like our chakras, spins which is known as an oscillation rate.  The oscillation rate gives us the frequency at which we vibrate, thus known as our “vibration”.  Since pain and suffering is at a lower vibration, each time we recall that painful thought we connect back to that lower vibration to match that imprinted timeline of the memory of that situation.  In doing so we bring ourselves back to that moment in time creating more density in our energy field through our emotions… our emotions are magnetic and dense.  Our felid is spinning at a slower lower rate creating an imbalance and instability in our state of being.  Our ability to create illness in our physical body is only one part of the equation, it’s what we do with that energy / emotions we are recalling and feeling back into.

The second part of this equation holds as much importance to how we create illness because it has to do the timelines imprinted to the Earth.  The Earth also has a frequency that has an oscillation rate which creates its vibration just as we do.  Gaia is currently ascending her consciousness and raising to 5D and is in the process of shedding 3D.  We still carry 3D in our field which is why it’s important to do our work so we can be in vibrational alignment with Gaia.  Our whole existence 3D is where we created these experiences, we played in polarity and duality which gives us the experience of something being good / bad, right / wrong etc.  It’s the perfect environment for our soul to work through understanding the human experience.  Looking at cancer again, in our experience Gaia is holding an imprinted timeline cancer and we are holding an imprinted timeline in our field we activate the imprinted timeline in our field and match the same imprinted timeline Gaia holds of cancer.

The important thing to understand here is that instead of just our emotional/ mental energetic timeline imprint being held by Gaia we are not tapped into the “billions” of people that make up the cancer timeline imprint Gaia who may be struggling just like us, same emotional status as us and we feel it all.  This collective consciousness dealing with cancer is now added to the cancer we are feeling into trying to heal so it magnifies our emotions, thoughts and actions. This is referred to as the “collective consciousness”.  This is likely to add to the emotions you’re already feeling. This is why it can be difficult for some people to handle an illness.  They feel overwhelmed because it’s not just their emotions they are dealing with.  I remember my grandfather had stage 2 cancer and was gone in a matter of weeks.  He was overcome with the fear of dying.  He held his fear and, unintentionally, the fear of the collective consciousness.  I never held fear, I knew I wasn’t going to die from cancer because I was supposed to use it to open to this work.

Tuning into the collective timeline of an illness can leave us in a state of greater overwhelm than if we were left alone with our emotions, this one of the number one reasons we don’t heal, or we heal and experience a reoccurrence. It’s a loop cycle because of the duality and polarity held on the Earth. When someone heals and stays healed it’s because their thoughts, emotions and actions have shifted out of that patterning, known as a belief system, which let’s go if that timeline and healing occurs. That timeline collective could have hundreds of thousands or millions who are feeding the same emotional energy experience along with their thoughts to that collective timeline which then amplifies your experience with that illness that is now needing to be dealt with by you. Many of the collective timelines are generational imprints, holding the potential for them to be activated by you through any crisis in your life over time. We create our reality in every now moment, it’s a currency exchange of vibration. We need to start thinking about how we are spending our energetic (vibrational) currency. We did not come here to suffer. We came here to live an abundant life. We stay stuck through our thoughts and perceptions that this is the way it must be, this is not true.  Do you know your beliefs are not yours, they don’t belong to you?  They are actually handed to you and you just believe you need to incorporate them into your state of being and own them.

Let’s talk about those three illnesses I mentioned way back in the beginning.  We can’t go into the remedy since each individual requires something unique in their own process, but I’d like to breakdown a few of the more common issues I’m seeing right now, from an energy perspective, to show you how illness is created.  When there is an event that creates emotions, many can participate which becomes the collective experience.  We can look at how our thoughts, emotions and beliefs create the story for what takes place in our body. Remember, I’m giving you what I perceive as the underlying energetic component of each. (Disclaimer, I am not a Dr. If you feel you need medical attention and a Dr is required, please see one).

Let’s start with UTI’s. They are Root / Sacral chakra based and have to do with urinating or lack of because of the bacterial infection. This is an emotional situation of being “pissed or pissed off”. The Bladder is involved, and that energetic component is “retention”. The UTI causes burning and pain when you urinate so we need to look at “anger”. This is usually towards another. In most of the cases I see it’s towards the opposite sex. Being pissed off at someone, having to suck it in, or hold it in. Usually there’s an issue with confrontation when the Bladder is involved. Being burning mad.

Next are Stones, kidneys first, they are also about anger but here they are, mad all this time and never actually “giving shape” to their anger which now becomes lumps of undissolved anger. The kidneys crystallize the “criticisms, failures and disappointments”. I see this a lot with childhood issues, feeling like you got the short end of the stick that life didn’t work out the way you thought. It’s also in some big “desire” not playing out the way they had planned, the failure anchors in. It’s in the solar plexus so it’s about feeling a lack of empowerment and being judged mostly by yourself.

Next we have Cysts, which are about running the same story about themselves or their life over and over. I thought I had done all the work after the second time I had cancer in 2004 but in 2013 a cyst popped up in the exact location of the cancer to show me that although I made the changes to my thoughts and emotions I still had an area I hadn’t cleared so I didn’t create cancer again but I did create a cyst showing up to let me know there was still work to be done.

The Bladder Stone is the same anger creating the stone as in the kidneys (see above) however this is the “Bladder”, so this is about “FEAR”, retention, holding things in, mostly from the past or childhood. I see this in people who don’t like confrontation. It’s in the sacral chakra so it’s about not feeling like you’re enough. I see this where people can’t let go of a grudge they’re holding from their past. They have a difficult time communicating feelings.

Finally, we have skin which is associated with the root chakra. Any skin issues, alopecia included, are about distress or emotional stress such as jealousy or anger that is being “reflected out” since the skin is like the mirror to our soul. I’ve seen this occur when someone was cheated on, in babies who came through a challenging birth and hold fear, as well as in difficult divorces, difficult living situations, work etc. Skin is also associated with the lungs and heart chakra, so there’s grief or fear playing a role as well. For every thought & emotion (action) there is a reaction creating a “step 1” awareness that you are out of balance through the beginning of physical pain. Thoughts and emotions that are left unattended run amok and create imbalances in the electromagnetic field which then magnetize to the same timeline imprint of the Earth and that creates the feeling of “stuckness”, pain and / or despair.

I know these are trying times were in as were being pushed to our limits being asked to see the bigger picture and the gold paved road on our path leading to our future which is sometimes challenging to see. Most issues can easily be resolved with self-work, but they will persist if no action is taken because they are being magnetized by the collective imprint through Gaia. I had cancer twice, it opened me to new heights in my work and provided insight I never believed possible in order for me to work at new levels with my clients.  The cyst gave me the awareness I needed to see how I created all of it and if I created it, I could heal it.

It’s time for “self-care” my friends, it’s all about you. Health issues will keep reoccurring until you take action by making yourself a priority. The more knowledge you have about how your energy body works the better you will become at navigating around these health issues and generational imprints which, will reduce your chance for illness. I hope you’ve found this information supportive to you. It’s always my intention to hold the highest vibration for expanding awareness in how our reality can be more easily navigated and healing can occur. As you can see it all starts with YOU. You are the catalyst for your own healing and the conduit for your own love. It all starts with you. Please love yourself in ALL you do, maybe now seeing you deserve the healing you really want so to kick it up a notch and activate that true DESIRE locked within and over everything / everyone else love YOU more!!!  Be the support you are seeking from others, invest in you.  You deserve it!

Maria Deesy

Maria is an Energy Intuitive, Ascension Guide and Wayshower working within the energetic blueprint of both Gaia and her clients to access and assist in transmuting trauma at all levels. Maria’s also able to read to solar frequencies of the cosmos and can provide insight Into the energies presenting in order to better navigate our physical experience during our Ascension. Her work supports the awakening process of humanity. Connect with Maria on the following sites: website, blog, Instagram, or twitter. Copyright©2020 MariaDeesy.com