Lately, I’ve been trying to deepen my understanding as I study texts from Kashmiri Shaivism.
The Spanda Kārikā says:
“जाग्रदाद्वविभेदेऽपि तदभेदे प्रसुप्तवत्…”
Even though waking, dream, and deep sleep appear different,
that subtle reality is not divided by them.
It never leaves its own nature.
I don’t pretend to fully understand that,
but it makes me pause.
While I’m practicing, this question has started coming up.
During a pose, everything feels clear and very real.
Weight in my feet.
Gravity pulling down.
Pulse in the hands.
Breath expanding and softening.
The experience feels convincing.
And then I think about how, every night, this entire waking world disappears.
The body I’m so aware of dissolves into dream.
Then even the dream dissolves into deep sleep.
In deep sleep, there’s no body being felt.
No thoughts. No movement. No experience in the usual sense.
And yet, I don’t feel like I disappear every night.
Because when I wake up, I say,
“I slept,” or “I had a good sleep,” or “I had a bad sleep.”
So something remains.
If the body is changing every moment,
if sensations come and go,
if even the waking personality switches off at night,
what is it that doesn’t?
I’m just practicing,
and noticing that maybe our svabhāva, our real nature,
isn’t something dramatic or mysterious.
Maybe it’s simply what has always been,
through waking, dream, and deep sleep,
without ever announcing itself.
If you’re on your mat,
see if you can feel into that.
Not trying to improve the state or the asana,
but just noticing the simple fact that you are.
I’m not concluding anything.
Just sitting with the possibility
that maybe we are not limited to the state we’re in.
And noticing if that, even subtly,
changes how we practice.
